How to Establish a Great Mentor-mentee Relationship?

Mentor-mentee relationships over the decades have transformed the definition of the word ‘mentor’ and yet somehow it remains the same. 

Ever thought about how Plato became a mentor to Aristotle who then later went on to shape up the life of Alexander the Great? 

The way Steve Jobs mentored Mark Zuckerberg or Oprah Winfrey mentored Maya Angelou, there’s something so distinctive yet so common about each of these relationships. 

What could that common factor be? 🤔

Let’s discover what makes a mentor-mentee relationship truly great, remarkable and long-term. 

Basics First 🤌

You have to first build a solid foundation with a mentor. Then look for potential for it to be a long-term mentorship relationship. 

Remember the time when you were in school and you asked someone for help, perhaps to finish your math homework? The groundwork can be as simple as that - simply asking for help where you need it. 

Of course, this is just the first step. 

You have to build your way up. The maintaining and nurturing of that relationship comes eventually. 

Now let’s get to know the specific requirements of building this meaningful mentor-mentee relationship in the modern world. 

How to build a meaningful relationship with your mentor?

Have you thought about this? 👇

Being clear in your thought process and gaining awareness in your career journey takes work.

It takes a LOT of thinking and introspection. Clarity is highly underrated in this world full of distractions and random streams of information blocking your vision, isn’t it? 

The best thing about mentorship is that a mentorship relationship can expand as much as you want it to.

But it all starts with knowing what you’re looking for. Once you know that, you need to find the most effective way to communicate the same to your mentor. 

Sounds obvious, right? But it’s easier said than done. 

Together, let’s clearly define these foundational steps, shall we? 

👥 Clearly defined mentorship needs

Self reflection is of the essence here.

⇢ What are the areas in which you need guidance?

⇢ What is it that you want to achieve in the short and long term?

⇢ What are those specific skills in which you want to improve? 

“I need support in improving my DSA knowledge.”“I need to develop my self-confidence with my mentor’s help.” “I need constructive feedback on my problem-solving approach.” 

There could be endless needs.

What’s essential is 1️⃣ setting a priority order to those items and

2️⃣ clearly defining them for yourself first.‍

👥 Clearly defined role of your ideal mentor

Imagine a pair of jeans that can stretch as wide as you want them to. But are you going to be comfortable if they’re loosely fitted? 

Similarly, your mentor could be your friend, your teacher, your leader, therapist, acquaintance, colleague, neighbour or any other label you want to give them. But it’s best if this relationship is clearly defined for your own benefit. 

⇢ Do you want this mentor to teach you a specific skill from scratch?

⇢ Do you look at this person as an emotional support pillar?

⇢ Do you want your mentor to become your friend in the long run?

Check out: Top questions you should ask your mentor!

You might want to properly visualise who do you want this person to be. 

👥 Clearly defined structure of this mentorship relation

A mentorship relation has so much to offer. So much of wisdom to impart. However, things have a tendency to fall apart when they lack structure. 

Establish a mutually suitable framework and communication process. 

You might want to think about everything right from expectations, availability, meeting frequency, and duration, to agenda for each session. 

In short, subtract randomness. Add coordination. 😇

Visualise setting up a calendar, making notes, following through.

When this structured plan starts taking a meaningful shape, I assure you, your brains will get a different dopamine hit and you’ll feel more positive towards achieving your goals. 

👥 Getting started with an open mind

Once you’ve defined these three things listed above, kickstart your quest with a fresh, open mind. 

Scrub your mind off of any negative biases you might hold against yourself, your future mentor and mentorship in general. 

At the risk of stating the obvious - have faith in the process.

Learn to trust - not just your mentor, but yourself and your ability to achieve great things. 🔥

How to maintain and nurture this mentor-mentee relationship?

Okay.

Let’s simulate an environment where you have already built this amazing well-structured relationship with your ideal mentor.

Your learning needs and motivational needs are getting fulfilled. You’re growing at a good, steady pace. 

What’s next? 🧐

Merely building a meaningful relationship with your mentor is NOT enough. Like how it’s not enough in any other relationship, as long as you want it to be long-lasting. 

That’s where maintenance comes into the picture. 

Even transportation vehicles need servicing and oil changes every 4 to 6 months. And those are just non-living objects. 

A mentor-mentee relationship is a living, breathing, soaring bond that is going to be a huge contributor to your professional and personal development. 

Imagine how many times you would need to service this engine? What would be the nurturing fuel to this mentorship vehicle which will keep it moving forward and upward? ↗️

🔅 Open, honest and straightforward communication 

I’m sure you know this. 

On the battlefield of Kurukshetra, just when a great war was about to begin, who was overwhelmed by moral dilemmas and emotional turmoil? 

Arjuna. 

His expression of emotions started off a legendary conversation between him and his mentor, Krishna. 

Arjuna honestly expressed his confusion, doubts and fears. This gave Krishna the space and opportunity to provide his guidance and wisdom. 

Certainly, you already know the benefits of open communication. But did you know that allowing yourself to be vulnerable and expressive is also an important part of communication? 🗣

(Of course, you need to trust your mentor first. That’s why building a meaningful, trustworthy relationship with your mentor is always the first step.)

So, my advice - speak your mind. Disagree when you have to. Be fearlessly honest.

That’s how all great relationships keep thriving. 

🔅 Continuous follow-up and gratitude

This is also a crucial form of communication. And it works as naturally as water to plants. 

Feed this connection with proactiveness. 🌱

Has your mentor recommended you to complete working on a project before the next session and you haven’t been able to keep up with the timeline? The best thing to do is communicate and request an extension on that timeline.

Have you been reading a book suggested by your mentor and the learnings from that book are working out well for you? Say thank you and discuss your most favourite chapters or lines from the book. 

The relationship between you and your mentor doesn’t have to be complicated. 

We all need the time and space to actively apply our mentors’ guidance to our day-to-day activities. 

Procrastination in following up will only lead to confusion and delay in your growth. A small note of appreciation goes a long way. 🫂

🔅 Commitment towards your goals

You know what makes your mentor happy? To see you fully in your zone, focused and committed toward your career growth. 

When they realise you’re doing much better than you were a month ago, it gives them an immense sense of accomplishment. 

I’m not saying that you should be committed to your goals just to make your mentor happy. 

This is to keep a constant check on how accountable you are. You would eventually need to assess your level of ownership towards the tiny and big steps you’re taking to crack that interview and to nail that performance review. 

Your level of ✅ ownership and ✅ accountability reflects your commitment. This will boost the feelings of respect and trust your mentor has for you.

The more they respect and trust you, the more likely they are to invest more time and energy into your overall development. 

Plus, they’ll get to see that perseverance in you and unleash some more constructive feedback, more in-depth guidance. You will end up extracting maximum value out of their mentorship. That’s a win-win! 

🔅 Mutual agreement on expectations

Setting goals and defining mentorship needs was the first step of building this relationship, right? But expectations, once they’re set, they need some refreshing every now and then. 

What happens when you spend two months in a mentorship relationship? You get comfortable; perhaps, even complacent. Is it possible that you start taking each other for granted? Yes! 

In that case, revisiting your expectations is always a good idea. 

Once you achieve smaller preparation goals, both of you will need to realign your vision. 👀 Probably, you’d need to set new goals, have new task and resources items and discuss a different set of concepts.  

Moreover, this is a huge time-saver.

Imagine you wasting your time and efforts on previously decided activities on repeat that might not contribute significantly to your ultimate goal.

Also, measuring progress becomes so much smoother when you’re constantly aligned on expectations. 

The bi-product of this action 🌻 - you’ll have built a wonderful rapport with your mentor. 

🔅 An open mind for new perspectives and feedback

Differences in opinions and perspectives matter.

Expressing while respecting those differences nurtures your relationship with your mentor like nothing else. 

Did you know, Plato and Aristotle had different ideas about how the world works? 🌎

Plato believed in the notion of heaven which he called the perfect world that is separate from the world we live in. He firmly believed that everything we experience in this world is an imperfect copy of those perfect world forms.

Aristotle studied this theory carefully. But later on, he changed his beliefs; found a new perspective. 

Aristotle thought that instead of focusing on those perfect forms, we should study the things we see in this physical world. He believed that we can gain immense knowledge by observing and understanding individual objects around us and the concept of “perfection” should be about that illuminating wisdom. 

Aristotle was able to extend upon Plato’s theory and swirl it into a whole new direction that no one else could think of! 🤓

When you express new perspectives respectfully, your bond with your mentor grows exponentially. 

When you’re stuck and not able to come up with new problem-solving approaches, you receive and incorporate your mentor’s feedback graciously when you have an open mind. 

All these factors will make your mentor-mentee relationship truly remarkable and long-term. 

Final thoughts

Mentorship is wholesome.

By design, it’s a holistic way of learning and growing.

The relationships some mentors share with their mentees and the impact they deliver together, speak volumes about their ethics and mindset.

This might make you feel “if I don’t already have a mentor, I'm missing out.” And you’re right. 😌

Preplaced mentors are transforming the way learning takes place in the modern world. They have their own distinct way of imparting knowledge that is personalised in its truest sense. 

So, experience mentorship, if you haven’t already. 

Build a meaningful relationship that nurtures you and brings out the best version of yourself to become the next Aristotle, Mark Zuckerberg and Maya Angelou. 

I’d love to see you high up on that ladder, buddy!

🚀

💡You might also want to read : How to choose the right mentor at Preplaced